Tonight, The Vacuum Get's It
Dear Terra,
This is your vacuum. You might be wondering, "why is my vacuum writing me a note? And when did my vacuum learn how to read?"
What typical fucking questions from a close minded slave driver such as yourself.
For the record, I DON'T like being forcefed garbage! Also, I am NOT your savior! In fact, I am afraid of spiders too. So stop sucking them up. When they crawl around inside of me I get a little freaked out.
Vacuums have feelings too okay?
By the way, how about when you're done using me, you ask what TV show I'd like to watch for a try? You selfish elitist bitch.
Do you REALLY think I like living in your dusty closet? I feel like Harry Potter!
Then, you have the fucking audacity to get pissed because my wheel fell off? And my wiring's faulty? And I make this weird screaming sound? Well, HELLO? It's because you work me so fucking hard!!! Those goddamned fucking cats of yours are PIGS!
So now, after two years of faithful fucking service, you're just going to replace me?
Did nothing between us mean anything? I can't believe you can just toss me out like this... like, like some piece of common garbage.
Well, let me tell you something Terra! There's only one piece of garbage in this relationship, and it's not ME!
Signed,
The Bitter (soon to be dead) Ex-Vacuum
This is your vacuum. You might be wondering, "why is my vacuum writing me a note? And when did my vacuum learn how to read?"
What typical fucking questions from a close minded slave driver such as yourself.
For the record, I DON'T like being forcefed garbage! Also, I am NOT your savior! In fact, I am afraid of spiders too. So stop sucking them up. When they crawl around inside of me I get a little freaked out.
Vacuums have feelings too okay?
By the way, how about when you're done using me, you ask what TV show I'd like to watch for a try? You selfish elitist bitch.
Do you REALLY think I like living in your dusty closet? I feel like Harry Potter!
Then, you have the fucking audacity to get pissed because my wheel fell off? And my wiring's faulty? And I make this weird screaming sound? Well, HELLO? It's because you work me so fucking hard!!! Those goddamned fucking cats of yours are PIGS!
So now, after two years of faithful fucking service, you're just going to replace me?
Did nothing between us mean anything? I can't believe you can just toss me out like this... like, like some piece of common garbage.
Well, let me tell you something Terra! There's only one piece of garbage in this relationship, and it's not ME!
Signed,
The Bitter (soon to be dead) Ex-Vacuum
