Chronicles of Madness

cue: the mommas and the poppas, california dreamin, on such a winter's day...

it's monday and i'm cold.

it's monday and i'm fucking freezing.

even now.

even in the office, for hours and hours, my hands are still like ice.

if you were here i would place my freezing hands on your neck just to watch you jump.

i'm going to go get green tea, in the guise of being healthy, i'm also going to warm my insides up.

but not my heart.

my heart stays nice cold and black like always.

it's monday and i have no mad chronicles to post and nothing planned for ty's site.

nothing nothing.

i blame this on all the drinking i did several years ago but blacked out.

last night my friend said to me, "remember when i drove robert's car to work?"

me- "no"

him- "yeah, and then i went to pick up lunch but bought the wrong lunch and so O had to drive back because i refused to drive that pos back there?"

me- "oh yeah"

him- "don't say yes when you don't remember! oh. i know why you don't remember, you got wasted that night and we had to call robert to come get you."

this conversation then led to all the times i had gotten myself too drunk to drive home, and here's why this conversation strikes me as funny.

i don't remember drinking that much.

in fact, i don't remember robert EVER having to come pick me up. not even once.

also, according to J, there were many times that he ran into me around town when i was completely wasted.

what?

where the fuck was i?

dammit.

apparently i did lots of cool stuff but have no memory of any of it.

it's monday and i'm going a bit senile.