Thursday, June 28, 2007 

Yellow Bus Week (AKA Slow)

I am a victim of Caltrain. Which, for those of you not fortunate enough to live here (you suck) is a commuter train running from the San Jose area all the way up to San Francisco. Kind of nifty. But I don't ride public transportation because it's dirty, costs a lot of money, is never fucking convenient, and filled with people. I hate people. In fact, there is some concern over how angry they make me and how quickly. More on that later.

Anyway, my new employer is all, oh you don't live at work? Oh, you live THAT far away? Let's give you a free Go Pass! AND a free Eco Pass! What's that?

Like I care.

Anyway, it means that I ride pretty much every form of public transportation in the bay area for free. FOR FREE. Dude, I'm cheap. I like that. Plus they've got shuttles and tons of other shit making it way convenient. So second day on Caltrain and I can tell you my anger levels are dropping somewhat dramatically. Missed the shuttle? Another one comes in five minutes. Same deal for the train. In the meantime I think I'll read a book or daydream or pick my ass. It's that exciting. And the train? Fucking clean! What the fuck? I wouldn't eat my food off the floor but it is pretty fucking decent. Also, not that many people. I sit down and no one sits near me, which is how I like it. Plus guys in scrubs ride the train and today one was totally checking me out. So dig this, I get to read, relax, AND get checked out.

Now if only they served liquor.

So what can still make a calm girl like me angry? Amazon.

Or more to the point Amazon reviewers.

I'm researching two new cameras. I need a new DSLR. At first I was just going to replace mine but now I realize that I need two if I want to keep shooting weddings. Plus, I really need just a regular point and shoot digital that I can stick in my purse and doesn't produce pictures with such shitty quality that I gag. Also I suppose I need money for both things. Le sigh.

So there I am on amazon trying to see sample pics, you know, regular pics. I was at a party and took this pic, I was out in the sun playing tag football and took this pic, but what do I see? A bunch of fucking retards thinking that they're being artistic by taking a really ugly, I mean REALLY ugly picture of a vase.

On a fucking table.

Brilliant, call the fucking galleries.

Oh wait, this person was more creative! They took a close up picture of their cat's face! And look, the wonder never ceases, they included a caption!!! It says, 'Look at my cat's face! You can even see the hair around his mouth this camera is soo good!'

Yeah, that's great, the camera actually showed that your cat has hair. What a fucking surprise. What's more surprising is that you're alive and I haven't already tracked down your address and murdered you in a senseless crime that goes on to shock your sleepy stupid suburban neighbors who are also amazed that their cameras can take pictures of things they point them at. Lock your doors citizens! A killer of bad reviewers is LOOSE.



Monday, June 25, 2007 

Note to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Your name is too long. TOO FUCKING LONG. Kind of like this title for this post is too long, but it's not my fucking fault it's you faggots that have driven me to it. God fucking damn it.

The only reason I ever watched this god damned fucking show is because once upon a time before he got hooked on pain pills got fat and then slack faced, Matthew Perry was HOT. Fucking HOT. Now, not so much. He looks sloppy, and you know who he has to blame? the drugs. He gives drugs a bad name and has he ever accepted responsibility for that? No. Fuck Matthew Perry for making drugs look bad and fuck him for making me watch this show.

Oh, sure, I still watch it, but it's not my fucking fault!

I blame Amanda Peets story line for this debacle but lately, I don't know. I don't think I can hang anymore.

Because what the fuck is with all the FLASHBACKS! Okay, newsfuckingflash to writers, flashbacks? Okay... sometimes. But not half of every fucking show for the last six fucking episodes. Cut it the fuck out, I'm BORED!!! And okay, I get it, the war started four years ago and we thought it would be over, but it's not and it's never going to be and you hate Bush and he's a fucking moron and my cat is smarter then him and could run the country better and even homeless people are more articulate, but geezus fucking christ man, SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO WATCH TV.

Fuck you studio 60.


Friday, June 15, 2007 

Next Stop Hell

I'd like to rant. I'd like to fucking rant and kick doors down and just be a motherfucking raging bitch from hell. AND I'd like someone to sit here and fucking take it.


But the thing about this rant is I would just reveal too much of the soft underbelly. The pink. And that's not funny, just pathetic.

Currently listening to: Anything by Get Set Go (look them up on iTunes)

Currently Reading: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand