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Thursday, July 23, 2009 

It's a New Day, It's a New Dawn

And I'm feeling good...

I feel bad for the person I chatted with tonight. But in a totally selfish way I don't care either. You see, they asked those questions, the ones you're not supposed to ask, i.e, why did you break up? And how's your mother's cancer?

And there were a lot of similar questions I was avoiding asking them, but although I tried to avoid answering them, I knew knowing me, pfft, what's the point?

run on sentence long enough for you?

The point is, years ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine and while he was talking about his ex I suddenly had this epiphany about my whole life. The next day I woke up with a completely different attitude and nothing was ever the same again. In addition I'd like to say that nothing in the universe was ever as bad as it had been again. I've often written here about unclenching your fists, letting go of your anger, and it's because it's something I had to do. Learn to let go.

Recently I've asked myself if I need to learn that lesson again, and I don't think so. What I'm doing is mourning. Mourning the person I loved, the relationship I loved and enjoyed in so many ways, and yes. I'm scared of the future. So tonight I realized something new. Time to stop contemplating the past. Time to look forward without regrets. One thing I know is that no matter what rock life has thrown me, no matter how much it may have hurt at the time, I've always been given something bigger and better.


Here I am worrying that my hands are going to remain outstretched and never filled again. What a silly worry. What a good day. In so many ways. This recipe's tricky but I'm starting to taste the sweet once more through the bitter.

I can't wait for tomorrow.