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Thursday, June 28, 2007 

Yellow Bus Week (AKA Slow)

I am a victim of Caltrain. Which, for those of you not fortunate enough to live here (you suck) is a commuter train running from the San Jose area all the way up to San Francisco. Kind of nifty. But I don't ride public transportation because it's dirty, costs a lot of money, is never fucking convenient, and filled with people. I hate people. In fact, there is some concern over how angry they make me and how quickly. More on that later.

Anyway, my new employer is all, oh you don't live at work? Oh, you live THAT far away? Let's give you a free Go Pass! AND a free Eco Pass! What's that?

Like I care.

Anyway, it means that I ride pretty much every form of public transportation in the bay area for free. FOR FREE. Dude, I'm cheap. I like that. Plus they've got shuttles and tons of other shit making it way convenient. So second day on Caltrain and I can tell you my anger levels are dropping somewhat dramatically. Missed the shuttle? Another one comes in five minutes. Same deal for the train. In the meantime I think I'll read a book or daydream or pick my ass. It's that exciting. And the train? Fucking clean! What the fuck? I wouldn't eat my food off the floor but it is pretty fucking decent. Also, not that many people. I sit down and no one sits near me, which is how I like it. Plus guys in scrubs ride the train and today one was totally checking me out. So dig this, I get to read, relax, AND get checked out.

Now if only they served liquor.

So what can still make a calm girl like me angry? Amazon.

Or more to the point Amazon reviewers.

I'm researching two new cameras. I need a new DSLR. At first I was just going to replace mine but now I realize that I need two if I want to keep shooting weddings. Plus, I really need just a regular point and shoot digital that I can stick in my purse and doesn't produce pictures with such shitty quality that I gag. Also I suppose I need money for both things. Le sigh.

So there I am on amazon trying to see sample pics, you know, regular pics. I was at a party and took this pic, I was out in the sun playing tag football and took this pic, but what do I see? A bunch of fucking retards thinking that they're being artistic by taking a really ugly, I mean REALLY ugly picture of a vase.

On a fucking table.

Brilliant, call the fucking galleries.

Oh wait, this person was more creative! They took a close up picture of their cat's face! And look, the wonder never ceases, they included a caption!!! It says, 'Look at my cat's face! You can even see the hair around his mouth this camera is soo good!'

Yeah, that's great, the camera actually showed that your cat has hair. What a fucking surprise. What's more surprising is that you're alive and I haven't already tracked down your address and murdered you in a senseless crime that goes on to shock your sleepy stupid suburban neighbors who are also amazed that their cameras can take pictures of things they point them at. Lock your doors citizens! A killer of bad reviewers is LOOSE.



I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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