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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 

Thinking

I was over here reading this, and memorizing that, when it came to me
 
I used to write
 
I mean, write.
 
You know, shit that makes you shut the fuck up and think
 
Paint with words
 
I used to use combinations of words that made people cry, laugh out loud, contemplate the cosmos
 
And right now and for the last I don't know how many days, I've got nothing. Just absolute nothing. I'm always getting distracted, struggling with the fact that my brain just wants way too much shit out of life.
 
Part of me wants to be a criminal. It sounds like fun. But I suppose that would fuck up my day job and perhaps hinder me from having a steady place to live.
 
See, like where in the fuck did that last sentence come from. Which brings me back to my original stupid pointless point, it has recently been pointed out to me that my mother has the worst fucking case off ADD that they have ever seen.
 
Whoa.
 
Like, for reals?
 
Cuz I saw some shit on CNN that would just fucking blow you away.
 
For reals.
 
Shit that has never occurred to me, but after it was pointed out makes complete fucking sense. She is such a fucking spazz. Which reminded me of the time that my college instructor accused me of having ADD and told me to seek treatment. She was such a bitch that I immediately complained to the office.
 
No, I wasn't the only complaining student. Don't you believe me? I said she was a bitch, translation, complete cunt.
 
So two years later, hear I am looking up the symptoms, and wouldn't you know it, a lot of the character flaws that I possess and have always struggled with are listed.
 
Right there, on the page.
 
All of the shit that I do that pisses off strangers and makes me want to cut people.
 
I'm not speaking about the obvious shit either, like not being able to finish a book or  watch a movie (all things that I regularly do), but the not so obvious signs, like:
 
not being able to focus even when you want to
being so honestly blunt that you often offend strangers
flash temper
procrastination
often late
over committing your time
difficulty thinking when things are disorganized
really hot and sexy
 
And then it goes on about how some adults have learned to cope with it and therefore don't realize that they have ADD. What did they list, oh many of the organizational strategies that I often apply so that my life doesn't become a chaotic fucking bag of shit mess. I've blamed it on OCD for years, the fact that things have to be my way or I fucking break down instantaneously, but maybe it's time I blame my bad habits on something new?
 
Plus, maybe I can get some meds to sell to the high school dropouts.... SWEET.
 
 

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I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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