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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 


They say, ‘seeing is believing,’ which has always confused me, because believing has always been based on some sort of faith and people are always urging others to take a leap on ‘blind faith.’

You said you saw me lose my faith.

Which made me stop.


Did you? Did you really? Can you tell me the time, the hour, the day? Can you tell me if it left in a flurry of gray smoke or describe the way my chest rattled from its death cry?

I’m sorry.

So sorry.

Didn’t mean to scare you there. I’ll let go of your shoulders now, smooth the bunches out of your jacket, pick up the packages I scattered in my haste. It’s just; I don’t remember it now. Only the memory. And it haunts me, that feeling of being larger than I was.

Look at me.

All wild hand movements and exaggerated facial gestures. What must you think? A crazy girl gone crazier, that’s what… but, here, take my number, call it if you remember anything. Even if it’s in the dead of night. Don’t worry, I don’t sleep that well any more. I sit up finding monsters in the shadows and wrinkles on my face.
Yes, yes, of course you must go. You have places to be, people to hug, loved ones to check up on. But… call me, whenever, tomorrow, I get off of work at seven.


I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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