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Thursday, May 11, 2006 

New Day New Rules

I've decided that from now on everyone is only allowed to speak to me through email. After many conversations where people go on and on and on (while fully clothed) and all I can hear is a weird buzzing sound I've realized, I've really got to come up with a better way to pretend to be listening.

Am I the only one this happens to? People will be talking and suddenly I'm thinking about something funny one of my friends said, how much my new shoes hurt or where I would like to go drinking next. Then suddenly I tune back in to find myself nodding my head agreeably, saying yes at the right moment, but really I have no fucking idea what we are talking about. So I think, "Concentrate on the words Terra... CONCENTRATE!" except that while I've been telling myself to pay attention they've said more words that I didn't quite catch.

I cannot believe the INANE fucking things I've agreed to because someone couldn't bother being entertaining enough for me to actually pay attention to the words coming out of their mouth.

So from now on, fuck you people, you can speak to me through email.

Except, there's another problem. Most people are just as boring if not more in their emails. Their emails go something like this, Dear Terra, I was sitting here at my desk thinking about blah blah blah for three more long dense paragraphs that bore the living fucking shit out of me.

If we have learned anything from the fast food culture that we all live in it should be this, everyone has the attention span of a gnat. Including me. I want smoke and lights and if not well then, I don't even know why you're bothering to talk at me. I mean, isn't the drool some kind of clue?

Anyway, so the thing with email is that I won't bother reading that either, and then there will always be the stupid mandatory follow up call/email, referring to something that I never read.

Still, I think I'm going ahead with that option. It requires less effort on my part.