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Tuesday, June 21, 2005 

My New Plan

If I were single, which I am, I would stalk my next boyfriend. I would let him see me play with knives and take him to the shooting range just to make sure he knew what a good shot I was.

I would hide in the bushes outside his house and when he got home I would jump out screaming “HI”.

Occasionally when he got home late I would sit in his bedroom with all the lights off and when he entered I would say, “I know what you’ve been doing”.

A guy who knows his girlfriend likes to hide in bushes is too sketchy to cheat. As it is he’s always watching his back.

Also, a guy whose girlfriend plays with knives while saying, “if you EVER leave me” is probably too scared to break up with her.

Fear is a good thing.

Fear equals respect and respect is love.