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Wednesday, May 25, 2005 

I'm Perfect and Nothing Is Ever... Ever, My Fault

Note to the Driver on 880 this morning:

Next time, fuckwatt, don’t put a goddamn bumper sticker on your piece of shit, queen slash king of suburbia, four door, four cylinder, I would kill myself if I could just escape, Honda.

Sorry to all Honda owners. I know, I know, they get good gas mileage, and everyone steals them so they must be cool, but, um, I would probably just die if I owned one. Also Saturns. Saturns make me hyperventilate. Then again, I hate conformity, so it’s easy to see why I hate cars that everyone drives.

Anyway, back to fuckwatt.

Thanks to your “educational” bumper sticker this morning I veered over two lanes and spun out three cars trying to learn some new useless fucking information, and while I could blame this on my poor decision making skills, I instead choose to blame it on your inability to purchase a fucking bumper sticker with a larger font size then 12. That’s right buddy, that huge fucking fiery explosion?

All your fault.

Shit, I wonder how long before the police find me?

See I could’ve stopped stopped and avoided hit and run charges, but… I need a break from work. And three solid meals a day didn’t sound bad.

If I were a rich man I would buy a big fucking house and sleep with little boys all the time and then act surprised when everyone was shocked and disgusted.

Oh wait…

This book is titled, What NOT To Do!!

He he. My bad.

Cuz I’m bad and you know it, uh huh. Who’s bad?

Also (and FYI for editing sakes I do understand that the post should be over now and anything else is just verbose and way too wordy to keep your attention, but really. Who gives a fuck?) is anyone else struck by the absurdity that he named the freakin mansion Neverland?

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m somewhat of an information buff, which I really fucking hate because knowledge forces me to have opinions on shit I’d rather not give a fuck about. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I like swearing.

Anyway, I watched that movie, “Finding Neverland” and before I watched it I read a bunch of informational articles on the story to get the full background and the “real” story. Movies take licenses and I hate people who quote movies instead of finding out the real story and then go spouting incorrect facts and making themselves look like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet. FYI: If you don’t know shit then keep your mother fucking mouth shut so that I don’t know what an illiterate ass wipe you really are.

So here’s the story, the guy who wrote Peter Pan used to spend a lot of time alone with three little boys “playing” with them, as if he, himself, were a child too. Word got round in London and everyone was SHOCKED! OOH, what a pedophile! Lot’s of people were pissed, but then Peter Pan rocked, and I guess money fixes everything. According to everything I read, his interaction with the children was completely innocent, however there were a ton of rumors and many people openly expressed their distaste for the situation.

Coincidence? I think not. MJ, I’m on to you. You were planning this from the start.

Oh, something else that pisses me off, why wasn’t this guy in a straight jacket years ago? HELLO? I think it is fucking SAD when a persons fame and wealth can alienate them so much that no one, absofuckinglutely no one, can find the humanity to point out the obvious. The man is INSANE! But since he’s rich, let’s just make fun of him instead.

I like those Bratz dolls. I really really do.

“Why Terra” you might ask. “Why do you like the Bratz dolls so much?

Is it their huge malformed heads?

Their big stupid feet?

How about their collagen injected lips or their over-plucked eyebrows?”

And I would have to answer, “No.

It’s none of those reasons. Although all of those reasons are pretty cool.”

You see, I simply like the fact that they are training young impressionable girls to be whores.

It takes a lot of the weight off of parenting. I mean remember when we used to complain about how Barbie was ruining our idea of womanhood and setting an unattainable bar so high that it’s impossible to reach? Boy, did we fix that problem! I mean, fuck, Barbie is a doctor, a wife, a mother, a vet, and somebody’s cute sister. Fuck that shit. Now girls can be geishas and cheap whores that don’t even get paid for sex. Wow. I love this. (I’ll post pics later)

By the way, I’m fucking serious. Go pick up a goddamn Bratz book, you know the kind they sell to kids? And read the fucking drivel in there. It’s enough to make me fucking puke, and whoever is writing this shit? You are going to hell. If there is a god in heaven you are going to hell and if I ever meet you I am beating the shit out of you.

Happy 9th birthday lil sis, that Bratz book I bought for you? Yeah, it’s in the garbage. Salvage it over my dead body.


holy shit. you really did fuck up your blog.

awww, that sucks. sorry. :(

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