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Wednesday, July 19, 2006 

The World Is On Fire

So last night I dreamt that I lived in an apartment (bear with me, I know posts about dreams suck ass) where I was conducting secret top secret stuff.

It was... secret.

And one night, while slipping into my jacket, I notice that the apartment directly across from our window is empty.



So I get all, evil eye looky, and stare intently at the vacant rooms.

When that spy comes back to spy I'm going to kick his ass.

After waiting a while I see a maid wander into the room. I scan her body to check for any cameras but don't find any. Hrm. Maybe they have something new and cool and techno geeky.

Then a small child wanders into the room. No. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't send a six year old to spy, that would just be retarded.

Then, FINALLY, a man enters the room. He has to be the spy, never mind that he's not staring into my apartment, equipped with binoculars, or holding a camera, stupid SPY can't fool me.

Oh, he's also Jimmy Fallon.

So I start banging on my window to get his attention, I'm all, "Hey you fucking spy, look up here!"

Finally Jimmy looks at me, now you need to understand that he's standing there completely relaxed looking with his hands in his jean pockets, and when he looks at me I immediately start screaming obscenities.

Then I pantomime choking him.

I point to him, then me, then I make my hand imitate a little guy running away while another little guy chases him. Then when one hand caught the other I pantomimed kicking the shit out of the first guy while pointing at Jimmy Fallon.

Jimmy Fallon's eyes got all big and he looked around like, "Who? Me?!"

And I started screaming, "Yes you, you dirty fucker!"

I woke up laughing my ass off.


I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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