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Thursday, April 27, 2006 

I've Said It Before

and i'll say it again.

(by the way, i feel no need for capitalization right now, be forewarned)

but i was that kid in the back of the class, with her head always stuck in a book, that never paid any attention in class but almost always had an answer if called on.

truth? i skated by with the ability to catch on quickly and stop listening early.

so, i was not, the class clown, the goth chick, or the metal head. i was the one that tried to blend in with everyone and the only ones that knew me to be funny, outrageous, and not nearly as brilliant as everyone assumed, were my best friends.

kudos to them for trying so hard to get past my shell.

i'm all worth it and shit.


but, one bad thing, is that even though i'm completely over all that shy bullshit and can now handle crowds without vomiting or going half blind from a migraine, is that i still have shit for social skills.

complete and utter shit.

i'm fucking horrible at it.

so the other day i ran into my cousin's friend at the bank. now, i know her, and i actually like her. there's a running debate on whether or not she likes me back, but who the fuck cares? i mean, the girl's funny, and she's never said anything mean to my face, so what do i care?

she says hello.

i say hello.

and here's where it all goes to shit.

i break eye contact and start scanning my purse. why? we're in a bank. it's rude to talk to someone when they're in line at the bank right? i mean, there's all that privacy shit, and what if it was just a polite hello? how was i supposed to respond?

i really don't have a fucking clue.

but, from her facial expression, i could tell that i had just committed a minor fuck up. gah.

anyway, so then she finished at the teller and exited without saying good-bye.

yep, i definitely fucked up.


i've been doing the same thing with a guy that dated my ex-best friend for about three years now. i never know how to approach him, so i just don't. or, i see him entering the group just as i'm about to leave, and as i don't know how to handle polite chit chat, i pretty much just sprint for the door the moment i see him. and, here's the funny part, i totally took his side in the break up, which he doesn't know, and completely pissed her off. so it's not like i don't like him.

i'm just a complete social retard.


I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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