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Monday, April 25, 2005 

I Internet Hate You if...

1. You buy me Jack... and then laugh about it. Fucker... you know I hate jack.

2. You used to blog, but now you don't. C'mon, there was a reason I had you bookmarked!

3. You make me write a haiku... which predictably sucks, and then I lose it on my desk promptly forgetting to post it. For weeks. Dammit!!! Anyway here you go Ty:

Whispers mark this room
Like flat beer and strange love smells
It is winter cold

4. You don't post... for weeks! FUCK! You're like a damn drug dealer, gettin me all hooked and shit.

5. Your name is CL.

6. Kidding. =)

7. Ok, not kidding. She is seriously way more organized than I am. Plus she has not ONCE made ME carrot cake! What's up with that?

8. You sided with my roomie. Wait, I more than internet hate you, I'm going to motherfucking internet KILL you! That's right. Watch your back!

9. You like spiders. I don't even want to know that you internet EXIST in that case. Spiders... yuck.

10. You don't read my blog. You suck.


fucker. you just lost your carrot cake privileges.

I don't exactly *like* spiders, I just - well - don't hate them.

By the way I have now killed around 25% of all of Australia's spiders. What does that get me...?


Oh DJ... I used to internet love you.

Where did we go wrong?


you've had a bit of practice with poems i see.

so do you not internet hate me anymore because i am reading your blog now? :P

btw, great blog. should've stopped by earlier...

CL-Wait til you find out it's not really my birthday. YIKES!

Ian-Hey wait... I'm still waiting for my altar. Or your virginity.

Ty-This is the first haiku I've written since High School, and the very first poem I've written on request. Hmmm. You stole my haiku virginity.

Grrrace- ok. I admit it. I'm a secret reader of your site, so of course I don't internet hate you.

BTW, welcome to the pink side =)

Will you take my virginity on the altar...?

i was going to say something about being a closet reader, but then i read ian's comment and lost my train of thought.

What a sacrifice...

You are funny as hell! And I hate spiders, too. A lot. I make my brother drive to my house in the middle of the night to kill them. Good Brother.

good brother! Does he live anywhere near me?

He lives down here near me, but I will send him to you...as long as you bribe him with beer, he'll do anything you want!

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