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Monday, July 31, 2006 

Mommy Dearest

Recently I mentioned Joan Crawford in a post, coincidentally enough it was on my own mother's birthday. This led me to remembering bits and pieces of the camp movie, which I don't remember as camp so much as I remember it as slightly scary, so I went to go look up the book and movie on amazon which is when I realized this movie came out when I was three years old.

Now, why was I watching this movie at such a young age? I really couldn't figure it out, so when my mother called I answered the phone:

"Hello Mommy Dearest"

"Hello"

"Do you remember that movie? Mommy Dearest?"

(very droll) "Yes"

"Why was I watching that so young?"

"Because you would always call me that, 'Oh Mommy Dearest, please come here,' I kept telling you to stop but you wouldn't. So I made you watch the movie."

"And?"

"And you still didn't stop. It was so embarrassing"

This part I remember. I remember there being a funny twist to calling her Mommy Dearest and that at some point I found it hilarious to continue on with the title. Five year old with a sick twist of humor? Yep, that was me.

"I wonder where I picked that up?"

"I have no idea."

"Well... she did die in 1977, and I was born two years later..."

(in old person's voice)"Oh Ms. Crawford, is it really you?!"

Although, apparently I was always having trouble with what to call my mother. When I was very little I refused to call her mommy, and instead called her Mayuh. I know this sounds weird, but I had a lisp when I was little and my mother's name is Mary, so not being able to pronounce an r turned her name into Mayuh.

OH MY GOD MY FAMILY HATED THIS!

My uncle once cornered me, sat me up on the counter top, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "CALL HER MOMMY!" I think this was at my third birthday party. I just remember being dreadfully confused. Why was I supposed to call her mommy? My uncles and aunts called her Mary, other women were called mommy, sometimes when I was in a store the only way to get her attention was to call out Mayuh. So I replied very calmly to my uncle, "But that's not her name."

Seemed logical to me.

And by the way, I had older sibs who DID call her mom. I was just weird.

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I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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