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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 

I'm Back

Remember when Arnold says, "I'll be back"? Yeah. I don't remember him ever following that up with, "I'm back!" Or even a nice jaunty, "I'm home!"

I fucking hate Arnold.

On the news today they were talking about how San Francisco citizens are supposed to be handing in their handguns today.

Have you heard about this?

San Francisco just passed an ordinance, or law, or.. whatever! All I know is that unless you are a police officer you are no longer allowed to own or carry a gun within city limits.

That's great. That's just FUCKING great.

So today all the good law abiding citizens that have guns registered in their names need to go down and turn them in.

Hey, you know what? I bet all the criminals woke up today and turned THEIR guns in too!

This is how I imagine it went, "Yo, Stick, where's my motherfuckin piece? Why? Don't fuckin ask me questions! Just do what I say! Shit. Motherfucker acts like he don't know we got to turn in our guns today. Sheet. I oughta slap him upside his head." Then he walked down and turned in his unregistered gun that he bought illegally last week in exchange for drugs.

Oh. And those guys? That hold up the taxi cabs and liquor stores? Yeah. I'm sure they turned in their guns too.

Feel safe fair citizens that live in shit ass neighborhoods and run gas stations/liquor stores because the criminals DON'T have guns anymore. Oh, wait. Nevermind. That's you. YOU don't have guns anymore. Oh and that silly little clause in the constitution, "the right to bear arms" you know how that was put in their so that you would have the right to have a weapon and be able to protect yourself against others? Yeah, well that just doesn't apply here anymore. So the next time some ski masked freak walks into your store, pistol whips your wife, and yells at you to give him the money, well you go ahead and do it because what the fuck else are you gonna do? Pull out your nonexistant rifle and say get the fuck out of my store? Oh. And let's say you DON'T turn in your gun, or GASP, buy one illegally and then use it in such a manner, well, I'm sure your ass is going to jail.



I want to know what STUPID PEACE LOVING HIPPIE DUMB ASSHOLE came up with this law and then I want to personally kick the ass of EVERY SINGLE DUMB ASS PERSON that voted for this half baked idea of a law. They were probably all criminals, sitting around getting high, "hehe. I know, let's take away all the law abiding citizens guns!"

Look. I know guys that used to rob houses. One of the things that always sketched them out was whether or not anyone was home, and whether or not they might have a gun. They wanted easy money, they didn't want to die, and they also didn't want to hurt anyone.

But what about the ones that do?

Now when a San Francisco citizen yells out, "I have a gun" those guys are just going to laugh in their stupid faces. Laugh and laugh and laugh. I don't have a gun, if I lived in San Francisco I probably still wouldn't own one, but either way, I'd be moving the fuck out of their right now.

This is the same stupid fucked up town that outlawed SMOKING within the city limits. Some other nutjob was trying to tax every shopper for every plastic bag they recieved at the grocery store to teach them a lesson about RECYCLING. Whatever. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING HIPPIES. And the, no peeing in public, ban? Yeah, that's sure going well. Every homeless person owes the city a million bucks. Good luck on collecting that. Assholes.

Anyway, back to the original topic, I'm back!

Some people have asked me, "Why were you gone?"

"Were you busy, tired, uninspired?"

Nah. The truth is two things. I've just been all happy and content lately. Life is seriously good. It's hard to write when you're happy because writing sometimes feels like you're missing out. I didn't want to sit in front of the key board all 'taptaptap'. So I didn't. It was nice. Besides, my seratonin's gone awol with November. It lowers my brains speed. Normally I'm racing along and lately I've been at a car jerking first gear speed.

So there you have it. I was gone, but now I'm back. Don't worry though, I'm not gonna come through your door with an axe screaming "red rum red rum!"

Not today anyway... I seem to have misplaced my axe.