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Sunday, May 29, 2005 

Sometimes I Swear, I Am Just Fucking Retarded


Yo, this is a shitty picture. I know. But it tells a story, so bear with me.

On friday I escaped work early. YAY!!! What the fuck to do? I called JP, I had to drop some stuff off at his house, and he was all, "blah blah blah I gotta work. Swoop through though, keep me company" and I mentally deleted the comment "Dude. I've fucking seen you too much lately. The thought of seeing you one more goddamn second makes me want to go postal." Instead I said, "Well I'll drop off the stuff real quick, but I'll probably jam pretty quick." He said ok, and I said thank you god. Then my cousin E called.

"Hey stupid. Come run errands with me if you got nuthin to do. I'll take the t-tops off of the car."

It's friday, I'm free with nothing to do and all I want in the world is to be outside.

"K"

But bastard tricked me. He headed to a head shop and made plans to get his tattoo touched up. FUCK. I'm stuck inside for hours now.

And...

I think I want a tattoo. Wait... no. Bad idea.

But... Hey!

They do piercings! So I call the on call girl, "How much is a nose piercings."

I'm bored, the girl sounds stupid, but what the hell. If I have to go out of my way I'll never do it, but this is kind of convenient.

She shows up and the girl is fucking stupid. She pierces me where I tell her, point fucking blank, I don't want it. I look in the mirror and the first words out of my mouth are, "this is exactly what I told you not to do. I don't like this. This is NOT what I wanted."

Everyone tries to convince me otherwise, I am fucking bleeding everywhere, and I am pissed to all hell. Fuck.

"Do it again" My cousin is shaking his head and I turn towards him, "fuck off bastard." The tattoo guy laughs, but he agrees, it looks like shit.

This time she gets it right. Everyone now admits that the first piercing looked like shit. THANK YOU!

I am not some cool inspired artist, but I am a freelance photographer, and a girl who wanted to be an interior designer. DON'T FUCK WITH MY VISION. Composition is everything to me and I fucking hated what that girl did to my face. Bitch.

I tipped her ten bucks for having to put up with my perfectionist bitchy ass. Even though my whole face was throbbing and my nose kept filling with blood. Are you grossed out? Because I was!

Anyway, when I walk through the door JP says, "what the fuck happened to your face?" Then he laughed. He liked it, but being one of my best friends he felt the need to fuck with me. Asshole.

JM saw me the next day at my sis's bday party. Within two seconds JM says, "Whoa. You pierced your face! What did your mom say?" Ok. Here's the thing. She didn't notice! Neither did my dad, my sis, or my aunt. NO ONE NOTICED! He started laughing and tried to run over and tell on me. After seven years he knows my mom pretty well and he wanted to see the ass kicking that was sure to ensue. I stopped him. Hah. JM knows better than to fuck with me. I'll kick his ass.

Anyway, here's the point. No one in my immediate family has noticed, which makes me think one of two things, Man their eyesight has really gone, or b, they really never look at me. What the fuck?

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that's a pretty funny story...

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