Chronicles of Madness

Dear Roomie,

For like the last time, my IQ is NOT, I repeat NOT, 5! I CAN tie my motherfuckin shoes! Thank you very much! So...

When YOUR best friend tells MY cousin to say hello and to have me give her a call, I do not think, "YIPPEE!".

Hello?

I'm not stupid. I know that this is a girl trap, so you can camouflage it with all the perfume, lipstick and Coach pumps you want but I am not going to fall into your stupid hot pink girl trap. If you want to talk shit about me then do it to my face. Fucking cowards. Don't pretend to be my fucking friend just so you can dial each other up after I hang up and talk shit about me. FYI: I'm a girl. I don't fall for that shit.

So do me a favor, get your skanky ass out of my house.

Signed,

The girl who's contemplating throwing cheese in your dresser drawers.

PS

Grow the fuck up and pay your rent. We're not in high school anymore.