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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 

psst.. you wanna hear a secret?

OK... I've vented a bit. Now here's the back story... the one no one knows.

My friend's parent's told me, "Why do you live alone? Why are you single? Beautiful smart girl like you? Get married! Get married!"

So I thought, hmm, I think I'll get a dog!

Except... I don't really have time for a dog... and I don't have a backyard... and I can't afford all the vet bills... and what if it doesn't get along with my cats? What if it stinks up the house? Who will watch it when I'm gone? Who will walk it when I work twelve hour days? What I really need is to RENT a dog!

No such luck though... so I got a room mate! What a terrific plan, I thought! Roommates are great, they can go to movies with you, there's someone to come home to, they're low maintenance, and if you die you don't have to wait until the neighbors complain to the landlord about the horrible smell your decaying body is creating. A roommate. Perfect.

I've had them in the past, and in general I've always enjoyed the arrangement. We split chores, alternated bills, had a safety backup on blind dates, an excuse to not let the wierd dates in the house, a work out buddy, a gossip buddy, and someone to try out new dinner recipes on. I come from a big family... I don't like quiet houses.

I talk to my cats too much. I would've talked to the damn dog too much too.

But anyway... My roommate had her own place, a steady job for the last four years, we were friends, she was coming out of a five year marriage, I was still recovering from a bad live-in situation from the previous year. I thought... serendipity.

We have now lived together for five months... she has been late with the rent four times. Last month she paid on the eighteenth... this month she has still not paid. In the house I pay for DSL, water, cable and phone. In addition to half of the rent. The only bill that was in her name was PG&E. Which she never paid. She let it get turned off. When it came back on I didn't ask questions. I just figured she had found the money somewhere... but actually it turns out that unbeknownst to me, she turned it on in MY name! That's right. The bitch turned it on in my name. Now up until then I think I had been a pretty good sport considering the fact that:

Sometime in January she just stopped going to work. Oh, she has a job... she just doesn't like it. So... well... she's really hoping that they just fire her soon. Cuz isn't that everyone's dream? Unemployment?

She cooks regularly and does dishes once every three weeks. I will post pics later... you won't believe it.

After staying home everyday for three weeks, and not cleaning ONCE, she suddenly announced that she was buying a dog. We have NO backyard, 1200 square feet and two cats, and she NEVER FUCKING CLEANS! Plus all the furniture in the house is MINE! What kind of dog did she buy? An English Bulldog.

Now that really pissed me off. For two reasons: One the dog is fucking forty goddamn fucking pounds and you can't even wash a dish but every three damn weeks you cunt! How in the fuck are you going to keep on top of a puppy? You BITCH! Second... that's the kind of dog I want! Now you might think that this is me overreacting but listen:

She had her hair cut similarly to me and then denied that it looked like mine, saying, "Well no, because mine is cute". She was pissed off when the hairstylist noted that it was in fact similar.

I have always been interested in photography and so now that I am being paid to do it she throws her photo 1, thats right folks she's only had ONE MOTHERFUCKING PHOTOCLASS, in my face all the GODDAMN time. And god forbid I actually know something she doesn't!

She is always pointing out how much better looking than me she is, and thinner, oh, and just so you know, her shoe size is smaller too... and

In the last four months she has thrown herself at EVERY single guy that has looked at me twice. Every one.

She is such a fucking biter. I don't even get the point. I mean how can you be in such a cut throat competition with someone who doesn't give a fuck?

She even talked about buying a del sol... I owned a del sol when she met me. It was then stolen. Everyone under the goddamn sun knows how much I loved that fucking car and how PISSED I was that it was stolen. Then she just blithely says one day, "Oh I think I'm going to buy a Del Sol. I would look so cute in one." Totally acting like she doesn't know that I owned one... SIX MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS AGO!

So now she is late EVERY month on her rent, not going to work, and quit her second job... cuz she doesn't like it there anymore. It's not fun. And who wants to work somewhere when it's not fun anymore? Bills? Pht. Screw bills. Those things are for losers. Note: If I went to work for "fun" instead of to pay my goddamn bills do you think there is anyway in hell I'd be sitting here right now? Oh wait! I'm so stupid! I should just stay home until I get fired so I can be trash too!

At this point she hasn't paid one damn utility bill for the last five months, and no rent yet for this month. And you know what she says to me? "You don't have any right to ask about when I pay my bills. It's none of your business. I'm an adult I pay my bills when I pay my bills and I don't answer to anyone."

On Saturday I blew. I was yelling, "Get out. I want you to get the fuck out. We are on a goddamn fucking eviction notice now thanks to you, which goes on public record! You are ruining my fucking credit! How am I supposed to rent somewhere else? What happens when I want to buy a house?" Her response? "Terra you don't know what I had to go through! You don't even care! I sold all my cd's and dvd's!"

Umm. Who the fuck cares? You could have just gone to work you stupid motherfucking whore. Tears don't pay my goddamn bills beatch.

And that's not even the half of it.

At my house there is a war. I have removed all furniture in the shared living areas. I carry the mouse from the computer with me at all times. Try to use the comp now bitch. I turned off her internet access today. Yes, it is in my name for a reason. I'm contemplating shutting off the phone. And if my parents let me move in next week, I'm also leaning towards shutting off water and electricity. Tonight I go home and wait. She's avoiding me. She doesn't come home til three now. I can't take this anymore... she called up the landlord to find out the exact details to an eviction process and I am livid. I am not fucking trailor trash you POS! I am not going to "work" the system like some goddamn, inbred, trailor trash, welfare piece of shit!

My boss knows I may not be in tomorrow morning. He knows that if she agrees I am throwing all of her shit into every vehicle I can find and kicking her the fuck out.

What she doesn't know?

Well... I won't say. In case she is smart enough to find this blog before her ass is out.

K. Enough details. I think I can rant now w/out you guys getting too confused. Oh... and rant I will.


Oh Terra, you should have asked me first, honey. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever share a house with a friend. It ALWAYS kills the friendship! But I guess you know that now. Go on, rant some more, get it all out...

great... why didn't you tell me this?

I hold you responsible.


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I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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About me

  • I'm TerraT
  • From South Bay, California, United States
  • I used to stand in the pantry trying to get Mrs. Butterworth to talk to me.

    That bitch never did though, so I ate her.
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