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Friday, September 02, 2005 

Conversations With O (or twelve years and still going strong)

(Thirteen Years Old)

Olivia- Hi. You’re in my morning class right?

Me- Right.

Olivia- PE sucks. Are you new?

Me- Yeah.

Olivia- Sit next to me. I’ll introduce you to everyone.


Olivia- Fuck I hate Tennis. I can’t hit the ball for shit!

Me- No kidding. This ball spends all of it’s time in the bushes.

Olivia- With us running after it…. It’s kind of funny. We should write a story about it.

Me- Yeah, “Adventures of the Green Fuzzy Thing”

Us- Laughter

PE Teacher- Girls! STOP TALKING!!!


Olivia- David’s kinda cute.

Me- David… David Green?

Olivia- Yeah. What do you think?

Me- He looks like a Christmas tree.


Olivia- You want a cigarette?

Me- No thanks. Oh. Gosh! Ow ow ow. I stubbed my toe.

Olivia- Terra. Just say fuck. It’s nothing but a word. Shit. You act like you’re going to go straight to hell.

Me- Well… I just don’t like cussing. What did you do over summer?

Olivia- I’ve been dating this guy Jimmy.

Me- Cool. Do we have him in any classes?

Olivia- No. He got expelled. He’s really nice.

Me- Ok. Umm. So what did he get expelled for?

Olivia- He had a knife at school.



Olivia- You want a cigarette?

Me- No.

Olivia- Let’s ditch school. Fuck this place.

(20 minutes later)

Me- Where to?

Olivia- The Library?

(Two hours later)

Olivia- Who knew you could have so much fun at the library?


Me- Olivia! My date cancelled for Senior Prom! OH SHIT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???

Olivia- Hey… let me introduce you to this guy Robert. He’s a friend of Jimmy’s. You have to go!


Olivia- My date’s a prick. He thinks cuz it’s prom I’m putting out. He’s hit on EVERYONE here!

Me- I know. French exchange student bastard! He even hit on your sister. And all of our friends. And he’s looking at me funny.

Olivia- Robert’s so cute. But Grace wants him… and she’s scary.

Me- So… I bet we can run faster than her.

Olivia- Yeah. You’re right. Fuck her.


(after graduation… living on our own… at 10 oclock on a Saturday night)

Olivia- What are you doing?

Me- Watching TV

Olivia- Come up!!! I want you to see my new apartment! COME COME COME!!!

Me- But, you live Three hours away!!!! (glance at clock) … OK.

(an hour and forty-five minutes later)

Me- Open up Olivia!

Olivia- Holy shit!!! How did you get up here so fast?

Me- You didn’t say this place had a gate! I had to jump the fence to get in!

Chris- Shit Olivia. You got cool friends! That girl did a hundred up here and then jumped a fence!

Me- Can I have a cigarette?


Us… in the white bronco… singing One Headlight by The Wallflowers.


Olivia- I think you should date Robert.

Me- What? No. No.

Olivia- I think you guys are in love.

Me- He’s you’re ex boyfriend!!!

Olivia- Yeah. I know.

Me- Besides… Grace would kill me.

Olivia- We can still run faster. Just don’t look back or we’ll lose ground.


Olivia- I met this guy Les. He’s kind of an asshole.

Me- He sounds like an asshole.


(six months later)

Me- Break up with him before I break his fucking legs with a baseball bat.

Olivia- I love him.


Olivia- I left him.

Me- For good this time?

Olivia- Yes… I promise.

Me- Good.


(Two years later)

Me- Just get back with Les. FUCK I AM SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HIM! Les Les Les. GRRR.

Jimmy- Yeah. She’s right. (yep, same expelled for weapons Jimmy)

Me- I’m always right. See. Jimmy’s smart enough to know this.


(one year later)

Olivia- Hello?

Me- (crying)

Olivia- What happened?

Me- I left Robert. It’s over. We’re done.

Olivia- Stay where you are. I’m on my way.

Me- (crying) I’m three hours away..

Olivia- Stay where you are. I’ll be there, have Jimmy wait with you until I get there.


Olivia- Les and I are moving back in together.


Me- Olivia. I can’t get my head up off this table. Oh fuck. I can’t even walk.

Olivia- Told you that shit was strong.

Me- Holy fuck I AM TRASHED.

Olivia- Hold my hair, I gotta puke.


Me- I’m around the corner…. I just totalled my truck. Get here fast or I’m going to jail.

Lady Who Just Helped Total My Car- Hey! That was your fault I hope you know!

Me- Lady get the fuck back in your goddamn car before I do something I can’t take back! (screamed while kicking the side of my truck)

Olivia- Terra, get in your truck, I’ll be right there.

Me- Shit shit shit shit shit fuck I need a smoke.


Me- I don’t know what I want to be. The only thing I’m sure of is that I know nothing.

Olivia- Einstein said the older you get the more you know how little you know.

Me- Still. Shouldn’t I have some clue?

Olivia- Terra, all the education I have, and all I really want to be is a mother. But Les is never going to marry me so that’s fucked.

Me- He’ll marry you… (or I’ll kill him).


Chris- Do you guys remember getting kicked out of that bar last night?

Us- We did not!

Chris- Yeah you did. You fell off the barstool and then got kicked out.

Me- Oh yeah! I remember the falling part. HA. And then we tried to pretend like it didn’t happen! We got kicked out?

Chris- YES

Me- Oh.

Olivia- I don’t remember any of that.




Olivia’s getting married. She’s known Les eight years now and they’ve been through hell and back. I’m not sure anyone else could have survived the things they did to one another.

And they’re great now.

Which is the point of the story and the reason for getting married.


At six oclock.

In Ohio.

Excuse me while I cry happy tears at my desk and reminisce over my youth. Best friends are not supposed to get married thousands of miles away from one another. I’m booking a flight to Ohio for the end of the month. It’s the next best thing I can do.

We’re both 26 this month.

Update (sorta seeing as how it's only been a few hours)

Just got off the phone with Jimmy who was almost hit by a car since he was so distracted talking to me. Dumbass stopped in the middle of the street when I made the comment that I was being jabbed in the jaw. Sicko. He's so happy for Olivia too.

And Chris? Chris is in Louisiana. He took off last night to volunteer as an ERT person to help out during the crisis. He's so awesome. Please everyone say a prayer for him since he is helping out in a way that I am so underqualified for and too scared to ever do.


I Can't Help You Now - Look, I have two songs on my hard drive that don't have the name 'iTunes' tatooed to their asses, so suck it
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