Do As I Say, Not As I Do
It's funny how one can get to the ripe old age of 25 (26 on the 26th of September for those taking notes) and not learn to shut their mouth. Actually age has, if anything, made me mouth off more. My friends husband says I'm getting to the point where I just don't care anymore. Which is true. To a point. I mean, I really don't care what the fuck you think of me. You can judge me anyway that you would like but at the end of the day it doesn't touch who I am or the rules I answer to.
I mouth off a lot, and so occasionally, me and my mouth have gotten into trouble. Like the time I told that guy silk shirts were for fags and if he wanted to date girls he might try switching to cotton. Or, there was that time I almost beat a mustang in my explorer and when the guys were laughing because they won I started laughing too and said they should have beat me three times as badly, too bad they drove like pussies. They stopped laughing pretty quick, but sometimes my mouth spits out shit I should really be keeping inside.
The problem is I can't! So much shit is FUNNY! And besides, just because I say something doesn't mean I believe it or actually do it. Fuck. Do you really think I drive drunk around town aiming for mailboxes? It's called humor people! Shit.
Like the time I was quitting and I told everyone I was gonna moon the boss on the way out while screaming, "Fuck You". The boss wasn't a bad guy, but the image of my ass hopping out the door screaming obscenities? Hilarious.
Anyway. Try to explain that to someone you just talked shit about. Hey man, I like you, but you're so damned uptight I just HAVE to make fun of you!
Hehehe. Damn. I hate having a conscience cuz right now I actually feel bad. Must drown bad thoughts with rum. Mmmm. Rum.
I mouth off a lot, and so occasionally, me and my mouth have gotten into trouble. Like the time I told that guy silk shirts were for fags and if he wanted to date girls he might try switching to cotton. Or, there was that time I almost beat a mustang in my explorer and when the guys were laughing because they won I started laughing too and said they should have beat me three times as badly, too bad they drove like pussies. They stopped laughing pretty quick, but sometimes my mouth spits out shit I should really be keeping inside.
The problem is I can't! So much shit is FUNNY! And besides, just because I say something doesn't mean I believe it or actually do it. Fuck. Do you really think I drive drunk around town aiming for mailboxes? It's called humor people! Shit.
Like the time I was quitting and I told everyone I was gonna moon the boss on the way out while screaming, "Fuck You". The boss wasn't a bad guy, but the image of my ass hopping out the door screaming obscenities? Hilarious.
Anyway. Try to explain that to someone you just talked shit about. Hey man, I like you, but you're so damned uptight I just HAVE to make fun of you!
Hehehe. Damn. I hate having a conscience cuz right now I actually feel bad. Must drown bad thoughts with rum. Mmmm. Rum.
