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Monday, July 11, 2005 

I Need a New Hobby

On Saturday I slept in late and when I woke up I was bored with nothing to do.

Nothing to do on a Saturday? Fuck that! So I got dressed and headed to the cemetery. There’s always something going on at the cemetery.

At the cemetery I played for hours. I danced on my relatives graves shouting, “Ha Ha! I never liked you!” and then I found some people I didn’t know and danced on their graves singing, “I feel so ALIVE”.

I was having a lot of fun, and getting a nice work out too, when I started to cough.

Hmm? What the hell?

I kept dancing until it occurred to me that maybe I was breathing in dead people germs. Who the fuck knows where these dead people have been? So I kicked some flowers over and headed back to my car.

On Sunday I drank a bottle of benadryl and upon waking four hours later I thought, “maybe the dead people are getting their revenge!”

Which, if you ask me, is kinda fucked up. I mean, just because I danced on your grave doesn’t mean you should fuck with my health.